Time With Mom
A Caregiving Story

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So crazy looking at

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all these old pictures.

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I'm an only child
of divorced parents.

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So I always say it was my mom

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and I against the world.

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All I can really remember about
my mom

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is just my mom with the disease.

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So looking at the pictures helps
to bring me back

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to what life was like
before the disease.

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I was a young

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29 year old living in New York City,
and mom told me

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she had been diagnosed
with Parkinson's disease.

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One minute I'm hanging out with
my friends and having a great time,

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and then the next minute
flying home to Florida, setting up

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appointments to go to our assisted
living facilities.

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As her disease progressed,

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the caregiving duties intensified.

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I'm seeing all of my friends

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being able to just live their lives
however they want to live it.

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That led to so much
resentment towards my mom.

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I would often say,

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I just wish
I had my old mom back.

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Sometimes if she was lucid enough,
she was like,

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I wish you had your old mom too. So.

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A light bulb went on one day.

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I just shifted my mindset to don't
be mad at mom,

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be mad at the disease.

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Something dawned on me, like,
Adrian,

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you're here
to spend time with your mom.

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And I really started
trying to just be present with her.

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Often times
I would get in bed with my mom

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and just lay my head on her chest.

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Having that embrace

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meant the world to me.

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While caregiving,

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my time was very precious,

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I still had that dream
of getting married

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and having a family one day.

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I knew that

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if I was really going

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to date somebody,
they need to be a quality person,

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because that would mean having
to take extra time away from my mom.

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I wouldn't talk about

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my mom when I would go on dates.

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Ian was different.

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One night Ian stayed over

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and I get a call from
my mom's assisted living

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that they're sending her out
to the hospital.

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I said, Don't wait for me.
Just go home.

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I don't even know what time
I'm gonna be back from the hospital.

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I think I came home
at six in the morning

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and he was still there.

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Hey, bells.

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How was school?

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Bella was eight years old
the first time we met.

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She's an amazing kid,

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and we developed this close bond.

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Should we put this on the fridge?

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My mom passed away
in August of 2020.

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I felt like I lost my family

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because my mom was like my family.

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This is. This is my new family.

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That really helped my transition

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from caregiver into Mama Bear

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of the household.

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As my mom

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was getting closer to passing.

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She would say,

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Does Ian treat you well?

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Does he love you?

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Like, do you love him?

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Are you happy?

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I truly feel like my mom waited

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until she knew.

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That.

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That I was going
to have somebody in my life.

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Before she passed away.

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Because she didn't

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want to leave this earth
thinking that I would be alone.

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Why are you glad I'm here?

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Because I miss you. Why?

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Because I love you.

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And one of the best things I got
out of my care journey was time.

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Time with my mom.

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I would have never had
this much time

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with my mom
if she would have never gotten sick.

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I miss my mom.

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There's.

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There's no love
like the love of your mom.