Creating Community
A Caregiving Story

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I was my mother's pride and joy.

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She gave all of herself to the role

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of caring for me.

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That is probably what allowed me

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to show up for her as well.

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As an only child,

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I always thought that I would mourn her by myself

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and I did not.

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Hey, guys,
I haven't done a video in a while.

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A lot of crazy stuff's been happening
since um, since my last one,

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I moved to Los Angeles to be a caregiver
for my grandmother

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and my mother.

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My grandmother has progressed

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Alzheimer's, and we don't know exactly

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what's going on with my mom at the moment.

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I moved home at 29 to a grandmother

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who didn't know who I was,

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and to a mom
who is very excited that I was home

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but had no understanding
of what was really going on.

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And my mom was so young at the time.

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The idea that she had dementia didn't

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ring for me at all.

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So my mom found this really - “Is
she coming today?” - bright shirt.

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Your mom. Your mom.

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No no, no.

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You haven't seen her? That's okay.

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When my grandmother passed in 2018,

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it was my mom and I.

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I could manage caring for one person

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who had Alzheimer's.

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Much better than two.

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So I have a hot washcloth in my hand,
and I'm looking for my mom.

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She just walked off. There she is.

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My life became caring for my mom.

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I knew that had I not taken on the role

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of caring for her, that she would end up
on the street somewhere.

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And all I could
picture was like her sitting outside.

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And I was just like, absolutely
no, I can't.

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Pandemic hits 2020.

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Hey. Hey, mama.

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We have to take a Covid test.

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I noticed that
the lack of social involvement for my mom,

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made her regress much faster.

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You’re beautiful. Me?

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Thank you.

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You're beautiful.

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My mom became almost completely non-verbal

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over 2020.

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That is probably what really propelled us

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to start sharing on TikTok.

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People fell in love with her instantly.

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It's for you.

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And it became just a really good time.

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Oh, in the camera you ham.

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People became
active participants in her care.

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Hey, Hannah, we're going
to put some clothes on the baby doll.

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We appreciate it.

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We have some clothes for him.

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Oh my God, woah!

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Hearing people say that
like you're doing such a good job.

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It became validating.

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Is that your baby? Yes.

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People would notice her out in public

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and want to hug her and,

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and, they would tell me

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their own care stories.

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It just became a community of people

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who all felt lonely at one point.

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It opened my mind up to what community

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really is.

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I honestly think that

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this is the hardest experience
that I will have.

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And the fact that I've gotten

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through it while also making
something from it that helps others.

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It propels me forward.

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I have to go to the cemetery.

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Because they picked up my mom

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from the hospital.

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And nothing in me wants to go right now.

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My mom passed suddenly.

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She was up dancing one week,
and then the next week.

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Not here.

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I thought I was getting better.

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But when they say
grief is a roller coaster.

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That **** is true.

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And there is just a sense of,

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community that

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I, as an only child, have never,

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ever had.

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I was mourning with hundreds of thousands

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and that community.

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My mom and I made that.