Blog Post
A Son Honors Mom’s Wish to Spend Her Final Days at Home
Submitted by Vincent Ornelas via Well Beings Share Your Caregiving Story
As a traditional Chicano, when my 91-year-old mother fell and fractured her hip, I felt obligated to switch my work to distance mode, as it was during COVID. As she continued to deteriorate with her dual diagnoses of depression and Alzheimer’s, ultimately, I took an unpaid leave of absence to keep her in her own home. Years earlier, when my father succumbed to Alzheimer’s, my mom was terrified that I would institutionalize her, similar to what I had done with my father, as he no longer could care for himself during the last years of his life.
For over a year and a half, I provided daily care for her, with a woman coming in twice a week to bathe her. This was a wrenching experience as I navigated the appeals process with her insurance company and doctor. In the end, she died in her own bed in her own home, surrounded by her loved ones rather than strangers.
I am glad that I was in a position to take the time to maintain her quality of life until she passed peacefully. I wish this country placed greater value on the care of one’s loved ones, especially when those persons are in the midst of a downward death spiral.
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