Blog Post
Why I Refuse to Give Up
On My Aunt Sherri’s Life
Submitted by Ana Kline via Well Beings Share Your Caregiving Story
My name is Ana Kline and I care for my 82 year old auntie Sherri who has dementia and is also blind. She lived alone about 2.5 hours away and she was independent and thriving or so I thought. That was until she had suffered from a stroke that landed her in the hospital. Her two (estranged) sons were called to the hospital but they told the doctors that they don’t have a relationship with her and that she should be warded to the state, as they wanted nothing to do with her.
The doctors released her in their care anyway. When they took her home and left her she felt afraid to ask anyone for help for the fear that her sons would come back and take her to a nursing home. After not hearing from my auntie for a while I got worried and took work off to check in on her. I’m so glad that I did. My auntie was in pretty rough shape when she opened the door. She was skinny, very scared and didn’t believe it was me her niece, until she said “Ana Banana, is it really you?!” I hardly recognized the woman standing before me. Needless to say, I brought her home that day and haven’t looked back. It’s been 2 years now I’ve been taking care of auntie.
I hardly recognized the woman standing before me. Needless to say, I brought her home that day and haven’t looked back.
I had quit my career due to a lack of finding good and affordable help or care for Auntie. When I applied for Medi-Cal/Medicare for her, it took well over a year before those services kicked in. When I applied to be a caregiver, they said she had to qualify for that as well before I could get paid to care for her. So I did apply for her and waited another 4 months before that would go into effect. The problem however is that the social worker for IHSS came when my aunt was asleep and she never spoke to or evaluated my auntie to see what level of care she really needs. They approved her for 127 hours and 03 minutes a month. That’s only 31.46 hours a week. Roughly 6 hours a day, only on weekends. This is mind-blowing because my aim needs 24/7 supervision. She’s incontinent, 98% blind, hard of hearing, and aspirates her food while eating. I have to hand-feed her, or she won’t eat. I’m helping her every day just to stay alive because I want her to have as much enjoyment in life as possible. My auntie and I have been close my whole life, and I’m the only person she trusts. I wish I could have good help not for me, but for her to feel like she has more people that love and care for her outside of me. I wish we had someone here for both of us to socialize with. It gets lonely. I’m 45 years old, single, and have no money being put away for my retirement or my future. The money me and auntie do have, WILL run out eventually. And we will have nowhere to go. I’m desperate to find help for us both. But for now, I keep Auntie singing, dancing, and walking as much as possible because that always lifts our spirits.
She’s still so full of life and I’m gonna be here by her side to make sure it’s a life worth living, no matter what.
I’ve asked her doctor for a physical therapist referral to keep my auntie’s mobility up. It was denied. I’ve asked for a walker for her to use so she doesn’t have to rely only on me to walk around safely, which was ALSO denied. They don’t want her get better or feel better, they say she won’t, so they can’t offer help there. They did however offer palliative care or hospice. Which I then respectfully, denied. I’ve taken care of my mother 7yrs ago while she was on hospice in my home and I was her full time caregiver. I know how difficult that process can be and I know that auntie isn’t ready for that. She’s still so full of life and I’m gonna be here by her side to make sure it’s a life worth living, no matter what. I thank God for bringing us together everyday. She teaches me how to be better than I was yesterday and she has shown me what pure unconditional love really is.
— Anna Kline
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