series
Living in Two Worlds:
A Professional Caregiver’s Personal Story
By Edie Weinstein via Share Your Caregiving Story
I am watching the PBS documentary Caregiving and find it powerful and on point. I am a career caregiver as a licensed social worker who has worked in nursing homes, home care, community mental health, medical hospitals, psychiatric hospitals, drug and alcohol treatment and now in an outpatient therapy practice.
In the midst of those career roles over the years, I found myself as caregiver to my husband when he was diagnosed with Hepatitis C in 1992, which resulted in end stage liver disease. He died in the ICU of a Philadelphia hospital in 1998. I was with him when life support was disconnected. In 2008, I assisted in the care of my father, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, who blessedly had a live in caregiver and then hospice care at the end of his life. He and my mom lived in Florida, and I am in Pennsylvania, so I was unable to be there as often as I wanted to. In 2010, I made the trek to Florida, seven times in the last six months of my mom’s life. She had been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. She too had a live in caregiver, since my parents had thought ahead and had long term care insurance. I did more hands on care for my mom since she couldn’t do all of her ADLs. I bathed and changed her. She was able to feed herself. Wanting to maintain her dignity, we made the process as playful as possible. She too had hospice care at that time.
In 2017-2018, I was part of a team of family and friends who assisted a dear friend who had been diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer which eventually metastasized to her lungs. I had accompanied her to some of her treatment appointments, helped with cooking, cleaning, care of her cats, laundry, massage, and giving her medications. I was with her, along with her sister and two friends, when she took her last breath.
In all of these situations, I lived in two worlds simultaneously. I was both professional and personal caregiver. I put on my social worker hat for my husband and parents and spoke with the medical staff. The grieving wife and daughter took a back seat. It wasn’t until my friend was at the end of her life that I truly let myself grieve the prior losses. The dam broke and the tears flowed. I’m grateful for the support of family and friends that got me through their deaths and my change of roles. I wish that for all in caregiver roles, but know it is not always the case.
Thank you for reading my story.
Blessings,
Edie Weinstein
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